Nothing’s the same no more! 


When I was growing up,  I wanted to get a good job,  not just a good job but a job that pays so freaking well,  I wanted to get married to a guy who’d really love me,  my idea of love was just so vague,  I wanted a family of my own,  children, a nice home with a nice view,  gosh! You name it! 

Guess what? I did find a guy(s) who loves me….. Or so I thought,  heck I got myself a child at 21(can we please laugh about it) and I got myself a job,  not one that pays freaking well but a job none the less! 

I’m almost there, you’d think! But lately,  I don’t want it like that! Heck I don’t want it in that order. Times have changed, I’ve changed too…. Though I’m starting to think my change is permanent. 

I used to be a relationships kind of chic,  these days, that shit repulses me.  Heck!  Love don’t even mean the same no more. I’m personally trying to rattle my head about what it really means.. Can’t seem to come to a consensus about it. 

Lately,  I’ve been thinking about how the idea of a perfect life, perfect and decent society came crushing down. Lately,  I can’t help but feel disoriented by the atrocities in the society. Everything is just so unbalancing. 

Sometimes I think about loving someone and being loved, then I remember where that shot has got me! Lately, I can’t help but feel that I’m my own person and I belong entirely to myself. 

Lately! Nothing’s the same. 

Ain’t no one genuine no more,  and if there is one genuine person left, someone with an ugly heart and ugly intentions will come there way and ruin that ounce of light that’s left. 

So, Im just out here in the sidelines, waiting for more change! Heck!  Society is all about change right? 

Sigh! 

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