I have been watching The Crown, British series that tries to bring to light how Queen Elizabeth rose to the crown. Insightful series, a lot would say! However, there is particularly one episode (ep 2) that has proved something in me tonight. The Queen is in Kenya, Nairobi to be precise and she adamantly states how 50 years ago Nairobi was a savage place, a home of wild animals. The episode goes to show half dressed African women and men listening to her religiously. She is then introduced to some of the tribal leaders, one of them being Waruhiu Wakanyi of the Kikuyu. She then proceeds to treetops where she is undoubtedly and devotedly served by Kenyan servants who speak Swahili yet the English men seem to understand them and the Kenyans seem to understand English too. Now, one would say “you should be rather proud that they feature part of your community in a British series, and a Netflix one to be precise.” See, I’m not. I find myself rather provoked by the whole concept behind it because it provokes a deep rooted spite for colonialism in me. I find myself at a disadvantage because I do not quite know the entire history of my people. Probably because, I have not know a life where I’m clothed in my culture, pure culture! Maybe because my country has opted to adapt the western culture rather than remain enclosed in the ridiculousness that is ours, they say. Tonight,I find myself deeply wondering what it is that we own? My forefathers, according o the little history they indulged me in while in high school, fought so ingeniously for our freedom. Which always leaves me wondering why it was taken from us in the first place. It was a brutal time I imagine, for my people since we are constantly reminded of how good we have it right now. But do we? Better of the history we were taught need i say, revolved on the proximity that is of European countries, philosophers and Leaders, everything but how our people lived in their capacity as Africans. I find myself deeply wondering if we ever got our freedom in the first place. My country as I know is still deep-rooted into debt given to us by the same people that ripped us of our existence. We still continue to remain in their debt and living out their purpose for us. So what do we own? It’s clearly not our freedom or culture. I am but a girl clothed in clothes introduced to us by them, studying a 8-4-4 system that some one is commanded by UK or US English otherwise you stand being unqualified for jobs in the vicinity of our country. What’s ingrained in my brain all comes down to how if it weren’t for them I’d probably be uneducated. I want to appreciate all that, not that I do not, I just can’t seem to unravel to the basic truth that we are who we are because they made us so. I have hanged out with people who want to show how traditional they are but the idea is so vague because I can’t seem to look past the Western culture that is us. What do we own? What do I own? What is truly exceptionally mine? Fortunately, my brain is one, my heart and all my organs. Problem is somewhere they are also affected by the concept that is Western Culture. I do however, exclusively own the right to free thinking and happiness. It’s a funny world we are living in, one that discourages us to live in the past and the future. I could understand why, then again we are who are because of our past. I want to blame my parents for not constantly reminding me of my culture, their culture, then again, what about their Parents, and the parents of their parents. Its all but a far existence. As a matter of fact the only people who could genuinely tell me the truth of my people are long dead and buried and religiously forgotten. It is unfortunate isn’t it, that my brain is unraveling so late in the night, wishing and hoping that someone would bring back what’s lost. Then again what is lost? What was ours? What is ours now? What do we own? What do you own? Do we even have free will? It sought of is like the question of religion, we will never really the absolute truth of it all so we accustom ourselves to what works for us. What keep us moving. It is rather disturbing how when I think of life, I see settling. Settling because the idea of truth is far away and too intimidating for most people. Then again, do we even own the Truth? I think not. So what do we own? Huh! What?