I’m Learning to Appreciate Sadness

Sadness, a condition of unhappiness that crops up when we go through tough times, experience loss, going through a heartbreak, and sometimes when we are lonely.

The more I grow, the more I realize that sadness isn’t so such a bad thing. Not for me at least! I actually think that for you to truly appreciate happiness, you have to embrace the sadness.

When I’m sad, or at my lowest place, I find my calmness deep within. I appreciate the trees around me more. I find peace in the fallen leaves. I listen to my heart beat every time I go through different emotions. Sometimes I even feel my heart break, it feels like a clenching muscle! Most times, I even enjoy my tears, I look myself in the mirror and I don’t feel the need to force a smile!

Do you ever realize that most people remember their lowest points in life more than they do their happy times.

Well, I know I remember the first time I shed a tear, the first time my mom beat me, the first time I felt unloved and the first time my heart broke. I remember all the times I’ve been cheated on and how hurt I was, and how I’ll never forget how helpless and powerless I felt.

I remember when my dad left us. I remember the first time I truly loved someone and when I realized I would never get to be with him.

I remember the first time my baby got sick, how helpless I felt, and every other time she gets sick. I remember the first time I realized that I’d never get to experience the kind of affection and love I give to others because somehow shit always goes south and well, most people in the world are incapable of love!

I remember how sad life in school was for me because I never had the capability to make any friends, not because I wouldn’t but because being alone was always much better.

However, when I’m sad, when I remember all these things, I’m not really sad, I’m calm and collected. So I’m learning to appreciate the sadness a little more.

These remind me who I want to be! And maybe, just maybe that’s why we never forget our saddest moments, because they forge us into what we are in the moment.

My sad moments taught me that pain isn’t such a bad thing, all you have to do is feel it because it demands to be felt. However, once you feel you experience a sort of calmness, the kind happiness doesn’t bring you.

So I don’t want to forget all my sad moments, because then I forget how much I’ve grown, and how much stronger I’ve become, and how much kinder and gentler I’ve become.

See, the world will always be a cruel place, there will always be people who mean you harm, parents who don’t see their kid’s pain because they are more focused on their pain, men and women who will take advantage of you just because they can, partners who will cheat on you and hurt you because really you don’t quite matter to them, people who will always think you’re silly for being different or believing in something, people who’ll never see your worth however much you try, and sadly people you’ll love yet can’t reciprocate even though deep down they feel the same!

Sad, I know, but that’s just life. But see, there is beauty in all of it because it shows you what you don’t want to be, pushes you to be better, teaches you how to be light even if it’s in your own little space. It’s the sadness that makes the happiness worth it.

It’s the sadness that allows you to appreciate when things are different, when days are brighter, when that smile is worthy, it’s the sadness that makes you appreciate the good things so deeply.

It’s the sadness that make you passionate and different. If you could just see it in the edge of light, you will appreciate that sometimes bad things need to happen.

When I learnt how to embrace my sadness. That I don’t have to surround myself with people to avoid the sadness, I learnt to appreciate the happy days more. I learnt to appreciate the good times, and I learnt to anticipate the bad days, loss, heartbreaks, and the sadness because as long as the world doesn’t change it’s heart, all these are part of life.

I’m still learning to appreciate it a bit more, you know, it’s easy to forget sometimes

All you have to do is open your heart a little, let it feel, let it beat at the rate of the happiness, joy, grief, loss, and sadness. And then, just listen to the different rhythms.

Just! Listen! Can you hear it beating?

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