like the birth of a child,
i held his love in my arms,
like a new flower budding out,
innocence so peaceful,
beauty so loud,
and freedom so divine.
he captured my heart the very first day I laid my eyes on him.
and a sling laptop back hanging over his shoulder,
walking around in my small town like candy fallen from heaven.
when he talked to me for the first time,
a lot had changed,
i was with a child,
and he was talking to me.
we met countless times before,
but he never paid attention to me,
and now he was talking to me and everything was different.
i was different,
he was different,
but something pulled us together,
like energy, the surge was to strong to resist.
we were like lost souls, finally at home.
it was slow,
with acts of kindness,
innocence and freedom of a child,
art of the gods,
and his love and desire for me.
i was caught in his web,
but too afraid to stay.
all he wanted was to have all of him,
for me to let him in.
and even though we had moments of darkness, we had always gone back to that love,
its purity kept us going,
but I was too afraid to give my all,
too afraid to have my heart broken,
too afraid for someone to walk out on me like my daddy did,
too afraid to see that he didn’t care about my history,
all he cared about was me,
in my raw texture.
he loved me,
i loved him,
And I lost him,
because I wasn’t courageous then,
and now its too late.
long nights I think of him,
quiet nights I miss him,
most days I hope he is happy,
most nights I wonder if he’ll ever find his way back to me,
and if I lost him for good,
will I ever experience a love like that?
i wish it was him in my bed,
whether alone or with someone in it.
i found love,
i still dream of it,
i still think of it divine,
and even though I lost it,
i am glad I got to hold something so divine in my hands.
he will always be the water I was too afraid to deep my feet into.
a shooting star,
an amazing streak of light,
burning up and quickly shooting across my sky.
picture credit: PixaBay