3 am

Image by Lothar Dieterich from Pixabay

like moments fall around us like rain 

like snow,

every body has eyes whether they see or not,

and bones,

and skin,

and a face,

and a heart ,

and a stomach. 

all which seem to be meant for keeping you,

sustain you,

manifest you,

grow you.

but really,

your body,

your stomach,

let’s you sit in tiny silent moments

while it digests you.

and so you’re like a tiny little bug 

in the belly of a monster

and the monster feels all your tiny little feelings and emotions 

and feeds off that,

and uses that to create this false image of who you think you are,

and you’ve had the strangest dreams since were little,

recurrent nightmares,

always made you feel so small.

but sometimes you wake up in a haunted body,

and wind up living in a haunted body,

never really realizing it,

thinking you were not of this world,

as though you carry dark bits of your nightmares

from the other realm

right after 3 a.m.

but you know not that your spirit is stronger than your body.

like an angel,

it waits for you to realize this monster,

set yourself free,

become your higher self 

so the darkness can’t consume 

even in this body.

some things can’t be told,

you live them,

you know them,

but they can’t be told. 

know this,

and know that the body is fleeting,

but the spirit is the most dynamic part of you.

tap into it,

know it,

feel it,

breathe it,

be it,

and the monsters will leave you be.

the ghosts will disappear,

the past won’t haunt you no more,

and you won’t be afraid of the dark no more,

you will know that your body torments you in silence

then slowly digests your misery.

and to know this,

is enlightenment. 

no more ghosts of guilt,

regrets,

and failings.

forgive yourself for staying too long in a haunted body,

make a wish,

see yourself clearly,

be better,

break that dark wall ,

for it will never keep you safe.

the grief,

and the guilt,

and the ghosts leave them be,

feed thy stomach, 

but never with tiny little bits of yourself. 

love this frail body,

love it in spite of,

make it a habitat for your higher self,

in spite of.

for you can either yield to it,

or fight it,

but know you that you cannot meet it halfway.

without it, 

you cannot continue for long,

to exist sanely, 

under these conditions of oblique reality, 

your body,

for as long as it has existed,

doesn’t matter how long,

holds darkness within,

and it might remain so until you die.

within,

your organs continue as guided,

making sure functionality is neat and firm,

until not.

but it’s up to to you,

to keep certain doors sensibly shut,

let silence lay steadily against the functionality of this body,

be one with it,

and let those memories slowly walk together,

but not in the expense of your spirit.

the rest is confetti.

this body has been like a haunted room,

and you’ve been in a state of death,

so many times,

and you didn’t know.

and it has also been different rooms for you,

but it has always been a house for all the dark times,

but only just so it can slowly eat you up,

consume you from the inside out,

without you ever realizing it.

but like a tear on a cheek,

realize forgiveness is warm.